Looking for criminally good rizz to steal someone’s heart?
If you’re aiming to be the smoothest outlaw at the party or you just want some illegal levels of charm, this is your ultimate stash of pick up lines.
These aren’t just playful — they’re stealthy, funny, and dangerously flirty.
Perfect for breaking the ice, sparking a smile, or making someone your partner in crime (figuratively, of course).
Below, you’ll find 7 categories of criminal pick up lines with 23 unique lines each — all fresh, creative, and ready to use.
Funny Criminal Pick Up Lines
- You must be a crime scene because you’ve got me investigating your beauty
- Are you a getaway car because my heart just sped off with you
- I must be under arrest because I can’t move when you’re around
- You stole my heart and I’m not pressing charges
- Are you wanted by the police or just wanted by me
- You must be a heist because I’m planning my every move with you
- I’m guilty of falling for you in the first degree
- Are you carrying a weapon or is that just your smile
- You’re like a locked safe and I’m dying to crack the code
- If love is a crime I’ll happily serve life
- I think you picked my pocket because now I’m missing my breath
- You must work for the FBI because you just investigated my heart
- You’re my favorite suspect in the case of who stole my heart
- If I’m the thief you’re the ultimate score
- You’ve got the right to remain stunning
- Are you a criminal record because I want you in my history
- I’d cross any border to be with you
- You’re like contraband in my heart
- Did you plan this robbery or was it just love at first sight
- I’d do hard time if it means staying with you
- You must be a jailbreak because you’ve freed my heart
- My heart’s on the FBI’s most wanted list thanks to you
- You’re a perfect alibi for my happiness
Smooth Criminal Pick Up Lines
- You move like a heist, silent but unforgettable
- Are you a lock because I’ve got the perfect key
- You’ve stolen more than my attention
- You’re my ultimate inside job
- I must be under your spell because I can’t escape
- Your smile should be registered as a lethal weapon
- I’d risk everything for one night in your arms
- You’re the treasure at the end of my perfect crime
- Is your name Felony because you’ve committed one against my heart
- You’ve got me cuffed without touching me
- This attraction feels like an inside job
- You’re my perfect escape plan
- You’re the jackpot of my criminal dreams
- I’d turn myself in if it meant being close to you
- My heart is under your jurisdiction now
- You’ve got me serving a life sentence in love
- You’re my perfect accomplice in romance
- I’d sneak across borders for a chance with you
- You’ve got the most dangerous smile in town
- You’re the ultimate undercover beauty
- If love’s a crime, you’re my co-defendant
- You’re my favorite part of the criminal underworld
- My heart beats like a getaway car around you
Flirty Criminal Pick Up Lines
- You must be a pickpocket because you’ve stolen my thoughts
- Your touch feels like a heist in slow motion
- I’d gladly get caught just to be near you
- You’re the smoothest operator I’ve ever met
- Is it illegal to look that good
- You’ve broken more than the law — you’ve broken my heart
- You’re the bounty I’ve been hunting for
- I think I need protective custody from your charm
- I’d rob a bank just to buy you dinner
- Your eyes should be classified information
- You’ve turned me into a repeat offender for love
- I think you’re smuggling beauty across borders
- You’re the blueprint to my perfect love heist
- I’d risk it all to be your partner in crime
- You’re my favorite illegal transaction
- I think we’d make the perfect getaway duo
- You’ve got my heart under lock and key
- You must be an undercover agent sent to arrest my loneliness
- I’m breaking every rule just to talk to you
- You’re like stolen gold — rare and priceless
- I’d commit grand theft heart for you
- You’ve just committed the ultimate felony — stealing my breath
Dangerous Criminal Pick Up Lines
- You’re the kind of danger I want to run toward
- Your smile should come with a warning label
- I’d walk into the lion’s den if you were there
- You’re more explosive than dynamite
- You’ve got my pulse racing like a high-speed chase
- I’d cross enemy lines just to be with you
- You’re the risk worth taking
- You’re as addictive as a forbidden deal
- You’ve got the most wanted face in my heart
- I’d break every law just to see your smile
- You’re the fire that burned down my walls
- You’re like a dangerous mission I’d never turn down
- You’re my high-risk investment in love
- I’d face the firing squad for one kiss from you
- You’re the outlaw of my dreams
- I’m guilty of wanting you endlessly
- You’ve set off the alarms in my heart
- You’re my most thrilling crime scene
- I’d smuggle myself into your life
- You’re worth every dangerous step
- I’d take a bullet if it meant saving your heart
- You’re my favorite brand of chaos
- You’ve made my heart your hostage
Cute Criminal Pick Up Lines
- You’re my tiny pocket-sized thief
- I’d hide in a getaway car just to see you
- You’ve stolen my snacks and my heart
- You’re the cutest mugshot I could imagine
- I’d sneak into your day just to say hi
- You’re the lock and I’m the silly key trying to fit
- You’ve got the sweetest alibi
- You’re my heart’s favorite suspect
- I’d smuggle candy into your smile
- You’re my adorable little lawbreaker
- I’d turn myself in for one hug
- You’re the teddy bear of the underworld
- You’re my harmless partner in crime
- I’d hide in your backpack just to be close
- You’ve stolen my playlist and my peace of mind
- You’re the cutest fugitive in my dreams
- I’d commit a snack heist for you
- You’re my favorite illegal cupcake
- I’d run away with you forever
- You’re the sweetest kind of trouble
- You’ve made my heart skip parole
- You’re my cozy little outlaw
- You’re my softest stolen treasure
Jail & Prison Pick Up Lines
- I’d share my cell with you any day
- You’ve got me locked up in love
- I’d break out just to be with you
- You’re my favorite inmate
- You’ve turned my heart into solitary confinement
- I’d serve hard time for one smile from you
- You’re my prison break fantasy
- I’d trade my commissary for your attention
- You’ve got my heart behind bars
- I’m counting the days until I see you
- You’re the warden of my heart
- I’d do time in your arms forever
- You’re my orange-jumpsuit dream
- I’d let you cuff me anytime
- You’ve given me a life sentence in love
- You’re my escape tunnel to happiness
- I’d break curfew just for you
- You’ve taken my heart into custody
- You’re the sweetest thing in this prison
- I’d sneak you into my cell
- You’ve made prison feel like paradise
- You’re my ultimate contraband
- I’d break every prison rule for you
Outlaw & Gangster Pick Up Lines
- You’re my Bonnie and I’m your Clyde
- I’d ride with you through any town
- You’ve got the swagger of a true legend
- I’d fight every rival just to keep you
- You’re the gang I’d join in a heartbeat
- You’ve made me an outlaw for love
- I’d smuggle myself into your gang
- You’re my turf and I’ll protect it forever
- You’ve got that dangerous charm I can’t resist
- I’d follow you through every back alley
- You’re my high-stakes poker game
- I’d rob the bank of love for you
- You’ve taken over my territory
- I’d hustle my way to your heart
- You’re the queenpin of my world
- I’d ride shotgun with you forever
- You’re my underworld royalty
- I’d cross enemy lines just to be yours
- You’ve got my loyalty for life
- I’d run every scheme just to impress you
- You’re my ultimate heist partner
- You’ve got the kind of style that makes headlines
- I’d burn rubber to get to you
Conclusion
Love and laughter are the best partners in crime, and these criminal pick up lines are here to keep things light, fun, and unforgettable.
If you’re looking for something smooth, flirty, or downright adorable, there’s a line here that can help you steal someone’s heart.
Now pick your favorite, deliver it with confidence, and enjoy the sparks fly — all without breaking any real laws.
